Knowing what people feel is not so hard if you know how to interpret their actions. Usually we don’t like to show what we feel, yet our actions speak for us. After break up we go through a difficult period when we try more than usual to hide our real feelings. Unfortunately, this is exactly what make us more transparent.
If you can understand what your partner feels after break up you will have no problem to decide what to do next. One of the main feelings we have when a relationship ends is confusion. We are not sure why it ends, what our partner feels about us and what should we do next. But don’t worry.
Here are some guidelines that will help you understand what is hiding behind your ex behavior. I will start with the obvious ones and go deeper into the more complex reactions.
1. My ex can’t let go of me
If after break up your ex is trying all the time to explain or to apologize, is looking for ways to prove his love and makes a lot of promises, he has a problem letting go. It can be because he really cares for you or is dependent on your relationship. It is an ideal situation to work on your relationship and fix the problems. But if he becomes too insistent, you should be careful. The more annoying and irrational he acts, the more closer to obsession. And that is not a healthy ground for a relationship.
2. Cold like ice
If your ex acts like nothing ever happened between you and treats you like a casual acquaintance is a sign that he is hurt and have a hard time accepting the break up. The cold behavior is an attempt to hide his wounded ego. He won’t be ready to talk about your break up, and there is no point in trying to explain something. There is something he has to prove and nothing else matter. Is a behavior more common to men than to women, and has a lot to do with a very strong ego.
3. My ex behave like a jerk
After break up your ex is trying to provoke you, doing and saying all the things you hate, wearing the clothes you don’t like or hanging out with people you can’t stand. Often is a sign that he is angry with you, but is not ready to admit it. Somehow he may feel like the real reason for breaking up is to just hurt him, or that you played some dirty games on him. When this behavior is more serious, like revealing intimate aspects of your relationship, making jokes about you and trying to hurt your feelings, probably he feels really humiliated and revengeful. Of course, there is always the possibility that he is a jerk for real, and you should be happy for breaking up with him.
4. My ex refuse any contact
If your ex refuses any contact with you after break up, or is even isolating himself , you can see it as a sign of pain and confusion. He may not know exactly how to react and is having a hard time facing the facts, so he prefer to hide. It happens mostly with people who feel betrayed or cheated, and you should let him take the time to heal.
5. Dating right after break up
Dating right after break up is a way to prove how desirable he is. Is like saying ” i don’t care, i am not hurt, look how great i am doing without you”. But if he is trying a little too much to prove that, he does care. That kind of people need some crowd to reinforce their self esteem. To know more you should pay attention who is dating with. Casual dating around with different partners, just to not be alone, some old love – problem- or the hottest latest “chicks” around to feel good about himself.
6. The nice, “let’s stay friends” ex
After break up your ex seems really nice and understandable, but it won’t go further than that. He avoid talking about your break up anymore. Let’s stay friends means that he probably cared for you but is okay with the break up. He don’t want to hurt your feelings. You should understand that probably he is ready to go on with his life, and you better do the same.
7. Is really over
Of course there are cases when there is no “after break up”. The relationship is really over, your ex does everything to make it obvious, and nothing can to be said anymore. This is the time for you to let go and try to go on with your life the best you can.
These are some general guidelines of people behavior after break up. But our feelings are complex and diverse, so you can find different degrees and combinations of these patterns. Understanding your ex you behavior can help you reevaluate your relationship and see what went wrong, know if it is possible to repair something even after break up or is better to let it go.