The truth is, if someone is telling you they need “a break” then watch out! “Breaks” are really an unfair, unclear way to explore other options while keeping your ex waiting in the wings if it does not work out. Sure, in an argument someone may say “maybe we need to take a break,” but usually the couple resolves the issue by the end of the fight and that does not happen. However, if your partner sits you down specifically to talk about “taking a break” then there are other underlying reasons for the split. A “break” is really a “break-up” and a coward’s way of not being able to be honest.
If the one needing the break is attributing to needing space because of stress at work, personal issues and so on then recommend that they take their space, have an open communication line with you and get through the stressful period together. That is what couples in a loving, dedicated relationship do. If the one needing the break is attributing the need to issues in your relationship, then really talk about those issues and try to work them out. Otherwise break up. If he or she really loves you and wants to be with you then they will try to make it work not take a break, go play for a while and come back when play time is over. If it is meant to be then you can get back together later, but do not put yourself in a position that will drive you crazy wondering what they are doing and who they are doing it with. Being on “a break” will only cause stress, pain and distrust. Better to have a clean break, go through the heartache and move along with your life because that is what you deserve.
There are many reasons why a person may say that they want a break, but the truth is the main reason probably falls within one of the following categories:
Heading Towards a Break Up!
He or she is a coward and does not have the guts to tell you that they want to break up. The “taking a break” excuse is just to push you away and let the break up band-aid slowly get pulled off. He or she would rather push you away and do their own thing until you finally leave rather than make a clean break and move on. Do not be a fool…don’t take the bait.
There is someone on the sideline…
Even if they have not fully pursued this person into a cheating stage, they are interested in them. Maybe there is some flirting going on or some fantasizing. Do not forget the power of a rebound or the ego boost someone gets when someone makes it known that they are attracted to them and gives them a lot of attention.
We should see other people…
Really? Isn’t that just “let me see if something better is out there and if not then I will settle for you”? There is no doubt that people have doubt in all relationships. Sometimes it takes dating other people to realize that you really do love the one you have been in a relationship with before. That is all good but break up, then explore. Allow the person that you are breaking up with to explore as well. The “seeing other people” thing only creates unclear expectations. How can you see other people and each other when you have been in an exclusive relationship? It just does not work and is completely unfair. If someone tells you that they want to see other people then break up with them and save yourself the emotional turmoil of seeing the one you love with someone else.
They want to mess around and then return to home base when they are done!
I would not want to be someone’s home base after they have played the field and hit some homeruns with other people! If they want to take a break just to mess around then why would you want to be with them to begin with? Who is to say that they won’t feel another baseball game up the road and because you let them come back home the first time they believe you will take them back the next time. Forget it! They are not ready to settle down into a committed relationship and taking a break is not going to help get them to that point, it is only going to give them the opportunity score with someone other than you!
The point is that taking a break does not work and it is not in the best interest of the one who does not want to do it. It gives total control to the one on the fence about the relationship and it is an unfair option for the one not making the decision. But that is not exactly true either. You can make a decision and decide to not take “the break” option. Save yourself the pain of going through it and tell them that you do not want to take a break but if they are not happy and not getting what they need from the relationship then you should mutually decide to go your separate ways. It is not to say that once you break up that maybe down the road you may get back together, it happens all the time. But it should be a reconnection after not being together at all that ignites that love flame once again. Remember, you have control over the choices that you make in your life…do not let somebody take that away from you. Empower yourself!