The Best Spouse Relationships

It is evident that the best spouse relationships survive on love and respect.   There are also other factors that bear consideration.

When you first started going out together you were kind and thoughtful as well as respectful to your partner.  As time has advanced, do you still treat your partner like you did when you first met up?   Unfortunately as time goes on you may start start to take matters for granted and are not be as careful as before about how you treat your spouse.    The longer you have been together, it is as if familiarity creeps in and you become a little careless.

In your everyday life you pay attention to how you treat your work colleagues and the other people with whom life bring in contact.  You know that if you don’t you will not get what you are asking them for, or the information will likely be incomplete.   Everybody reacts more positively to someone who is polite than to someone who is inconsiderate with them.

When you are in a bad mood does it show in the way you speak to your spouse?   It probably does.  Yet you would not normally dare to speak to a stranger in that same tone when you are asking for something because you know he will likely send you packing.   If you speak to your spouse in a disparaging manner, you are taking advantage of the familiarity that has crept into your relationship.

When you are speaking to other people who are close to you, be they your parents, your children or your friends, think what would happen if the discussion was recorded and played back to you later.  You might not be very proud of how you behaved.  Yet if that person was a stranger you would have been more careful about what you said and how you said it, because you would not want to upset them.

All of us get annoyed from time to time and thereafter regret what we said or how we said it.   In our relationships it is important to limit these moments; we can do so by always reflecting on how we would have behaved if the person was a stranger so as not to offend them.

Thoughtfulness is another important part of maintaining a good spouse relationship.  No doubt you love your wife but, as the time passes in your relationship, are you still as thoughtful with your spouse as you were when you first met.   If there is one person towards whom you need to show some thoughtfulness, it is your spouse.

When you first met you were always attentive with the small gifts of attention and surprises.   As time has gone on they have become less frequent, perhaps few and far between.  Don’t forget that good relationships need to be cultivated.  Getting away from the every day rut, introducing some surprises and just generally being thoughtful, is essential to a good spouse relationship.

You should never be complacent, as marriages are not necessarily permanent and there are always many other opportunities for your partner if you don’t fulfill their aspirations.   So, get back to doing some of what you did when you were courting them and have let slip with the passage of time.   Try to be as kind and thoughtful as possible.  Add to this love and respect and you have all the ingredients of a lasting spouse relationship.

Joe Bisley

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