Singles – Phone Dating, Does it Work?

First of all, what is phone dating? Phone dating is done by people who have never met and most of the time will never meet anyway.

It is usually becasue one party or both parties feel comfortable just talking on the phone and do not have the courage to step out of their comfort zone to meet or one or the other is married. Be warned, if you are building a relationship with a phone dater . . .

Many people who have phone dates are married. Phone dating is common when people have discovered each other on line,  but it is a complete waste of time!  Let me  explain why.

1.            Many guys just don’t have the courage to ask out a single woman and keep the conversation going in the hope that she will suggest a meeting.   It is something a guy can ‘hide behind’. He may be too nervous to meet and will stretch the phone dating out for weeks.

2.            People become addicted to Phone Dating. A beautiful woman related her experience to me: “He phoned me every night at 8 pm and we talked for three hours. When I made it clear that I would prefer a proper date rather than a ‘Claytons Date’ he lost interest. I really believe he was addicted to Phone Dating.”

3.            What you “hear” is not necessarily what you get!  Phone Dating is most common before two single people have met.  They are at their most charming both wanting to impress. Sometimes a really exciting rapport is developed, each becomes a little cheeky, even daring over the telephone and then when they meet . . .  They are not what each other imagined.

She is thinking, “Gosh! Did I really flirt with him?”

He thinks, “If I had known she was 10 years older than me, I would never have been so daring. Now how do I get out of this one fast?”

Research has shown that 50% of all phone assessments are incorrect. Very large women most often have soft, sweet voices making them sound tiny whilst petite women have strong voices and sound large. 

Men with toffy voices quite often don’t have the funds to live the elite lifestyle that their voice reflects.  Some single guys with very flat voices turn out to be very well educated.

We hear of people who are oceans away who meet on-line and develop very personal relationships. This relationship may continue for months, even years without meeting. When they do meet, most often the relationship fizzles out because each has been talking to a figment of their own imagination.

Many people who have phone dates are married. It may be a relief from a boring marriage, a person who doesn’t have the courage to leave or just a promiscuous person who gets his/her kicks from chatting on the phone.

The actual person they meet is not the person that they feel they have been talking to all this time.  It comes as a shock and most couples never recover from the shock. Of course we have all heard of couples who have met their husband or wife on-line after a long phone courtship but these are the ones we hear about because they are so rare.

So, what are the alternatives?

Rather than phone dating or blind dates at free single dating online, we recommend that you meet, as soon as possible, for a coffee for half an hour to an hour. Make the first few meetings fairly short and don’t date but try to develop a friendship.

You will soon discover whether this prospective true love has similar values and whether they have the characteristics to be able to fulfil your long term relationship needs. Or at least you will determine whether he/she is worth dating.

After you are quite sure that your prospective partner has all the attributes necessary to be able to develop a lasting relationship, then begin dating. You could never discover all this whilst telephone dating. 

In fact many people who have taken up the phone dating option say that others are not always truthful on the telephone.  In the safety of their own home they are tempted to project their espoused values rather than their actual values.

Whilst phone dating you can expect to meet people who are lazy – can’t be bothered getting out there and meeting people; people who have a created an image of themselves which is nothing like the real person; people who are grossly overweight – whose only exercise is to walk to the refrigerator and back.

Also I hate to say it, married people – who are seeking an escape from a dreary life. Instead of putting some effort into their lives they escape to the imaginary world of phone dating.

In summary, phone dating is more than likely best suited to the misfits of this world.

Lydia Lambert manages worldwide free single dating online,