Secret Relationship Why Keep It Secret

A secret relationship may sound thrilling at the start of things but it becomes steadily more difficult to keep the secret.  You think you have good reasons for maintaining the secret, but are they so good as all that? Anyway, after a certain time the burden of keeping the secret will be too much for you and then everyone will see who is our partner.  It might have been a lot simpler if you had not kept the secret in the first place.

When you worrying about whether the family and friends would approve your choice, take a break and ask yourself why they would object.  If they believe that friends and family will not be in favor of whom you have chosen, it would be wise to stop and consider why they would not accept your choice.  They may have serious reasons to object, so should you not be asking yourself if you are getting into the right relationship.  Usually those close to you want the best to happen to you, so why will they not accept your choice.

Are they worried that your partner will not teat you properly or hurt you?   Has your new partner given them a reason why your relationship will not work?  By keeping everything secret you may be thinking they are not entirely wrong.

Where the disapproval is for personal reasons, it is hard to see what secret has to be kept!  If your partner is criticized, of their class or financial, what secret is there to keep?  You would be better off operating openly and showing friends that they are wrong.

If the problem is your partner’s race, sex, or religion it can be easier to guard the secret.   Even so you should not lose sight of the fact that if you stay together, there is a good chance that, one day, the secret will de exposed for all to see

Avoid the secret relationship if at all possible; be as open as you can and simplify matters for the two of you and those around you.  Show those about you that you are happy to feel as you do and be more honest with your partner and yourself.   Those about you might learn the true meaning of a relationship when they see the two of you together.

Some of the friends and family may be less narrow minded about your relationship.  Other may not wish to speak up for you for and show they think differently.  They didn’t want to be in a minority and have to justify themselves.   You also chose to keep your relationship secret in part for the same reason as you didn’t want to justify what you were doing;   And when the secret is eventually revealed for all to see, you will then soon know who are prepared to support you!

Joe Bisley

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