When planning to get out of a narcissistic relationship it is important to understand that separation is not as emotionally or as practically straight forward as separation from a non-narcissistic individual.
Firstly, as a result of having suffered narcissistic abuse, you will feel emotionally and mentally damaged, and you will be experiencing the torment of injustice, vengeance or indifference from the narcissistic individual, as well as a host of other inhumane narcissistic tendencies. It is important that you seek support and therapy in order to stay strong, guilt free and as clear about leaving as you can be.
Secondly, because you are separating from a narcissistic individual, it is important to plan wisely. When dealing with a narcissistic personality it is important to understand that they are without conscience and will try to ‘one up’ you, punish you, slander you and outplay you at every turn.
‘Playing fair’ and ‘trying to do the right thing’ does not serve you when leaving a narcissistic relationship. Do not warn the narcissistic individual that you are leaving. Plan your exit and leave with the items that you wish to take without him or her knowing. Be aware that anything you leave behindwill be held ransom by the narcissistic individual at a later date.
Be ready to enforce strict no contact with the narcissistic individual after leaving. It is usual that a person suffering from narcissistic personalitydisorder will abuse you, or try to pledge his or her undying love for you. If you state to this person ‘Don’t contact me ever again’ and they break your wishes you have the right to enforce an intervention order on this person.If you receive abuse in-person, or by phone, text or email from your narcissistic ex-partner, that is grounds in itself.
You are leaving for a reason, because you know this individual is narcissistic, and the only hope you have of a life without narcissistic abuse is to leave. Be aware that if you crumble and go back into the relationship your partner will escalate the abuse in order to punish you.
If you leave unprepared and are not determined to exit and enforce no contact, the narcissisticex-partner may attack and cripple your life in order to force you to return. It is essential that you create strong boundaries around your life, and secure as much as you can away from the abusive and pathological narcissistic tendencies.
How successfully you recover has a lot to do with how you leave. If you are clear, toughen up, face the truth about narcissistic tendencies, set up support and know what you are dealing with, you will be in a much better position to exit safely, and shut down and deal with the narcissistic aftermath.
Use the law to enforce no contact and document everything that the narcissistic individual does. Create and hold as much proof as possible and record everything to use legally at a later date.