“I know that my boyfriend loves me, but he has a great deal of women close friends. I never get why he has to have so a lot of women close friends. I get afraid and jealous when he spends time with an additional lady. I know I should have confidence in him, but I never, and I never know what to do about this.”
“My spouse is a extremely social individual and tends to make close friends easily, with both equally guys and women. I hold feeling that 1 of these times she is likely to fulfill a guy who provides her more than I do. I feel insanely jealous every time an additional guy even seems to be at her. What do I do about these inner thoughts?”
I usually get e-mail from men and women inquiring how they can end feeling so jealous.
Jealousy is triggered by not recognizing who you actually are. By who you actually are, I indicate your real Self, your essence – the soul facet of you that is produced in the impression of God. Your essence is a gorgeous and fantastic individualized expression of the Divine – deeply lovable and loving. But if you never know your individual essence, then you believe you are your wounded self.
Your wounded self – your moi – is your conditioned, programmed self. This is the self we designed as we ended up escalating up to try to have manage about acquiring appreciate and staying away from ache. Our wounded self may well be insecure, angry, frustrated, anxious, controlling, weak, addicted, and judgmental. Our wounded self is typically not extremely lovable. When an individual loves us, it is our essence that they appreciate, not our wounded self. On the other hand, even though men and women who appreciate you see your essence, you might not. If your moms and dads ended up unable to see your essence simply because they could not see their individual, then you grew up pondering that your essence is unworthy and that you are your wounded self. There is no way to feel protected when you believe you are your wounded self.
Healing jealousy means that you need to have to discover to see and price your gorgeous essence. When you know and cherish your essence, then you know why your lover loves you – and your fears of currently being replaced go away.
How do you get to know your individual essence? We can not see our essence by means of the eyes of our wounded self. Our wounded self sees ourselves by means of the filter of others’ perceptions of us, so we may well conclude up looking at ourselves in the distorted way our moms and dads, other caregivers, siblings, friends, teachers, spiritual leaders, or kin may well have observed us as young children.
In order to know your individual essence, you need to have to be in a position to see you from a greater point of view – from the eyes of your Increased Self, your older sensible Self. Proper now, picture an older, extremely sensible section of you that can see the truth of who you are. Picture this section of you on the lookout at you a modest boy or girl – in advance of you designed a great deal of your wounded self. What are you like? Are you loving, variety, alive, and curious? You might have to go back to looking at you as a little one, or even in advance of you arrived into the earth. Go back as considerably as you need to have to, to see the essence of you – the truth of who you are.
If you practice Interior Bonding® and discover to embrace the truth of who you are, and start off to address you as you would address any lovable and cherished currently being (these types of as you might address your young children or a pet), you would get started to feel a great deal more lovable and protected. When you do this extensive sufficient and continuously sufficient, you will discover that you no lengthier feel jealous!