Everyone wants commitment. Even people who are afraid of it, want it deep down. There could be countless reasons why people avoid commitments in relationships; fear of rejection, fear of messing things up or even fear of being trapped. These fears keep people from taking the big step of making a commitment to dating relationships. Although some people may say they’re not into commitment the truth is everyone wants to be the apple of someone’s eye. Typically when someone says they don’t want commitment it is coming from hurt and the fear of the hurt happening again.
So the question remains, “how long should you wait till you make a commitment?” Unfortunately there isn’t a straight forward answer to this question. Every person, dating relationship and circumstance is different so it’s impossible to make a blanket statement. There are guidelines that can help steer your dating relationship in the right direction and provide guidance of when to make the step towards commitment.
You Both Know.
If you both know you’re ready, then you probably are. Make sure you each talk about your expectations and what commitment means to you. What you mean by commitment may be very different then what your partner means by commitment. By committing to one another be sure you are both ready to stay committed and when in doubt the two of you talk about it.
You Are Mature.
The best way to know if your dating relationship is mature is to ask your closest friends and family members. They will be honest with you about their approval or disapproval of the dating relationship. Don’t let pride stand in the way of hearing the feedback they give you. If everything they say is positive then go for it. If it isn’t all positive listen closely and see what areas of the dating relationship need improvement. Remember, a mature person can take negative feedback and allow it to drive them to change.
You Fight Well.
If you haven’t had a disagreement with your partner yet, you will. If you have, how did it go? Were you able to discuss things in a calm and constructive manner or was it explosive, hurtful and regretful? When two people come together there will always be room for misunderstandings and disagreements so don’t be surprised when they arise. Its how they are handled that will make or break a dating relationship.
If you’re ready to move out of the “more than friends” stage and into a mature, committed dating relationship talk with your partner about your thoughts and feelings. Get a vibe at where they’re at and how they feel about it. If they seem to be a bit stand offish you may end up having a different discussion at that point. If they’re ready to commit to your dating relationship then take the next step and make it official. Tell your friends and family members and have them support you and hold you accountable to the commitment you’ve made. Without accountability there’s no motivation for change.